Oh how I needed to change my ways....
I joined Cheryl's group shortly after a break up that meant much more to me than the guy I was dating. I was tired of the emotional roller coaster ride that I just couldn't seem to get off of. I was hesitant to join the group but Cheryl encouraged me to come to the first class to check it out and make a decision to stay or not after that.
What a refreshing and timely experience. My dating habits, at the time, I came to realize were very unhealthy. Like the difference between drinking from a muddy plastic cup and then to have someone pass you a crystal goblet of pure water!
After the pathway to my mistakes were unveiled to me, I began to take charge of my life in this area. I dated, met great people and had a fun time doing it. I never realized that this could be done in such an emotionally safe and carefree way.
I joined Cheryl's group around Sept or Oct 2012 and I'm proud to say I've been happily married for two months. I met the man of my dreams and after a couple months of non-exclusive dating he stepped up to the plate, more than willing to bide by the requirements I held.
Our dating and engagement period is one of my favorite seasons to look back on. He knew what was expected of him and I wasn't giving up privileges that didn't belong to him...until now.
I want to say thank you Cheryl. Thank you for taking the time to teach, listen and invest in ME. My perspective is forever changed. I can now pass the knowledge I've gained on to other women who want to do right by men but just don't know how.
Response: Thank you Michelle. I am proud of you both and so happy for you. Your wedding was beautiful. I will be doing a workshop version of the classes you attended early next year--- so let your friends know. I hope you two are planning to attend the Glitz & Glamour Ball Seattle!
I was a part of Cheryl's first group in June 2010. At that time I had been divorced for 9 years, & I was tired of "looking for THE ONE". I had done the serial dating thing, where you date one person for a while, see where that goes, & then determine that they weren't what you were looking for. I likened it to going on a job interview...fast forward, I began dating without the pressure of finding that "one" person, so that by the time a widower from church approached me, I felt my attitude was "let's see where this goes". I wasn't going to stop seeing other people just because...
We dated for 3 months, & I decided to end it. I went my way, he went his. I was content to return to keeping my options open, but in the intervening months God showed me something rather profound about this man. I can't describe it I just knew that if I continued going along this path I would miss something great. We reconnected in February, & he proposed at our church's leadership meeting before 900 people. Wow, that's shows serious commitment! It also showed me the lengths that God went through to show me the blessing he had for me this whole time! Thank you Cheryl for convincing me to come to your class! I am on cloud-nine!
Need A New Perspective?
I was blessed by Cheryl Haskins’ in-person teaching from her new book, “Girlfriends Don’t Matter”, as part of a small group of single women. As I prepared to “go out into the world” after years of not dating, I saw Cheryl, and after hearing about her book, I signed up. Her insights gave me a fresh perspective on an “old approach” to dating. And by the time the sessions ended, the “old approach” seemed like the “best approach” and made much more sense than the cultural norm on dating, and finding “the one”. Her thoughts & insights gave me the courage to try again, the permission to not take “dating” so seriously, to enjoy the journey as “practice”, and to think about even small impressions, like shoes, eye contact, a simple hello, and a smile. And she encouraged me to not discount someone who might already be in my life, who may not be a perfect match to “the list” or not previously in contention for “a date”. Isn’t it interesting I would be right in the middle of this new way of thinking, when a friend of 20+ years just happened to ask if we could be more than friends? Well, I took the plunge, and after three months of “a new perspective on an old friend”, I am happy to say I’m still enjoying this journey and looking forward to how it plays out. Buy Cheryl’s book! You never know how a fresh perspective may change your life.
Can It Truly Be Possible?
I've often asked "Can it truly be possible for me to meet a man, enjoy each others’ company, and not feel that it is more than just that- a date or conversation?” Real Talk for Single Women, with Cheryl Haskins, brought a greater hope and understanding of how to keep my own feelings about dating to positive parameters. As much as I desire to be me and show a man that, I continued to learn that some parts of me are solely for my husband (and this goes beyond the physical). As a result of learning this, I have gained a greater respect for my time, my person, and the woman that God is creating me to be. The gained respect has helped me keep men in my life that value who I am and cherish my time and contributions while keeping those that don’t out of my life. The principles presented in Girlfriends Don’t Matter bring great peace of mind for women in dating and an open door for men to pursue women.
Free to Be Me!
I’ve done the dating thing wrong – so wrong – before. And by not valuing myself, it was easier to let down protective barriers, and give away parts of my life and heart that should only have been saved for a husband. Then, after I renewed my relationship with God, I had the extreme opposite reaction; I put up so many barriers that even if someone might have been interested I wouldn’t have known how to handle it. Fear of repeating old dating behaviors actually kept me locked into a circular holding pattern of singleness. When and why did dating as a Christian get so weird? Cheryl’s class shook up my life in a radical and positive way. It reminded me of how God sees me, of first valuing myself, from the outer, to the parts no one else sees; and gave concrete, practical wisdom to dating, guiding everything from conversation topics, to fostering an open demeanor that allows for dating opportunities to happen, to understanding the concept of “husband privileges”, and that practice is important! While stretching, and sometimes outside my comfort zone, over the course of the last six months, I have old mindsets that have hindered me have just fallen away. I am happier, more carefree, and have learned (re-learned?) how to relax and be truly myself while dating. And at the same time I feel equipped with tools to protect my heart along the journey. Cheryl’s wisdom has been absolutely invaluable in this process and I’m so excited that she has put it into book form so that it can bring freedom to a whole generation of women!
I Don't Need This-Really!
“In the summer of 2010, Cheryl Haskins asked me to come to a small group she was hosting in her home for single women. My first thought was that I did not need to attend a small group discussion around dating. I was single at 43 years of age and had never been married. After first five minutes of the meeting, I found myself challenged and having to think outside the box. One of the most controversial statements I took away was that ‘girlfriends don\'t matter’.
A few weeks later through social media; I was able to reconnect with a man that I dated and became engaged to 15 years ago. I found out that he was pursuing someone else and the statement, girlfriends don\'t matter came to mind and well....the rest is history. It allowed me to be free to open up and talk with him. She was not his wife, but a girl he was pursuing to date. It was month later that he realized the woman he was pursuing wasn\'t the one for him.
We started our long distance dating about 3 months later and were engaged and married one year to date in September 2011. I am married to the man of my dreams. Girlfriends Don\'t Matter is not a principal to cause irresponsible destruction or disrespect to an existing healthy relationship. However, it is the vehicle to examine one’s life-long commitment.
Response: When men realize they want a wife they will do what it takes to get her. The above situation was handled graciously and good fruit has come from it. You can read Liaza\'s full story in chapter one of the book Girlfriends Don\'t Matter.
- Cheryl Haskins
I am not exaggerating when I say that what Cheryl Haskins has to say regarding men and women and dating changed and revolutionized my life. It was a COMPLETE paradigm shift. At very first my mind didn't want to budge but within even a week I realized that she was SO right! I went from being in a single monogamous relationship and not expecting anything from a man to dating several men as friends just for the experience and to be open and get to know different people. I became a different person through the experience. I gained so much more confidence as a woman and that is an understatement. I have become a walking advertisement for this book and all Cheryl Haskins has to say. She has so much wisdom and insight and above all else, she KEEPS IT REAL!!
Numbers Don't Lie
Cheryl Haskins is an incredible teacher whose obvious passion for this subject really changed my life. I had my first date at age 25. I would average 2-3 dates per year. I just turned 30 when I started applying some of the advice of Cheryl. I, of course, was kind of skeptical and I probably didn't want to admit that I was the reason for my frustration in the "dating" department. I've heard many thoughts/opinions about some of these concepts from other single women but you know what, the only thing I can say is look what happened to me. It's not magic, it just makes sense! I started applying her concepts/advice in October 2011-since that time, I have gone on approximately 30 dates with 14 men-and those are just the ones I said yes to! Say what you want, call it luck or favor, but my frustration and anxiety has decreased by 90% in this area as I have learned to trust God, smile bigger, and look my best no matter who is around!